by Peter » Tue Mar 31, 2015 7:54 pm
Again I've reached a point, lying in bed and thinking etc.....
To save a lot of time, I really really need to stop drinking alcohol.
Not that I am even drinking much at all. Maybe a beer or a few every fortnight? If even that, I've certainly my calmed down my alcohol intake from say, 5 years ago? But after having half a bottle of vodka, mixing it with Red Bull during Wrestlemania on Sunday night has still left me pretty messed up 2 days later. I am not a spirit drinker at the best of times (I only drank it since I thought the Red Bull would keep me awake for the duration of the PPV), but lying in bed and feeling my anxiety and sadness just mess with my head has me googling articles on the links between the two (as if you even needed to Google it).
I really need to dig deep and find a discipline. A part of me that I've never really found, where I can say no more, and completely give up alcohol for the reasons of mental health and depression. Don't get me wrong either, I'm not suicidal or anything like that, but I know I have felt moody, sleepy, sad and frustrated these past 2 days and I know that the vodka at the weekend is the main reason for the emotions. Being Irish doesn't help of course since that makes it part of your social life and culture, plus I have a guys weekend away to England in a few weeks where the main business will be alcohol consumption, and lots of it. The pressure will be immense.
I know I wanna stop drinking 100%, as well as live a healthier lifestyle, get back into the gym and get into good shape for going back to Australia in November. I am a huge advocate of saying if you want something in life, you will get it regardless of how hard it is to get. I want to go alcohol free and get into a healthy lifestyle, I really really do. But I always fall short when it comes to the motivation of doing it. Of walking into the gym. Of ordering a water when I am out and not resisting any temptation or pressure. Guess I am just rambling on here since I don't rely have anyone else to ramble on to.