Shenmue Jokes Thread

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Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby SMDzero » Fri Feb 19, 2016 1:21 am

Good Shenmue 3 ending:

Lan Di: [Ten Tei and Lan Di are arguing in the parking lot after the Baisha fight] Come on, that's not fair! I got second place!
Ten Tei: Second place? Second place is no place! You're off the team!
Lan Di: That sucks! I did my best!
Ten Tei: What?
Lan Di: I said I did my best!
Ten Tei: You're nothing! You lost! You're a loser!
Lan Di: No, YOU'RE the loser, man!
Ten Tei: Oh I'm the loser huh?
[grabs trophy from Lan Di and breaks it, sending pieces flying]
Ten Tei: Now who's the loser?
Lan Di: You know, you're really sick man!
Ten Tei: [grabs and puts Lan Di in choke hold... Ziming runs up but Ten Tei swats him away] How does second place feel now?
Niao Sun: Come on, he can't breathe!
Ziming: Ten Tei, please... you're hurting him! He's sorry, he really is, OK?
Ryo: [walking up to Ten Tei] Let him go.
Niao Sun: Yeah, Ryo's right! Let him go!
[Ten Tei backhands Niao Sun]
Ten Tei: [hissing] Beat it, Hazuki... or you're NEXT!
Ryo: I say, LET HIM GO!
Ten Tei: [breaks hold and frees a gasping Lan Di... Ten Tei strikes at Ryo twice, breaking both hands in the process by slamming his fists through two car windows... Ryo forces Ten Tei to his knees]
Ryo: "Mercy is for the weak... when man confronts you, he is enemy...
[Ten Tei is staring fearfully at Ryo, remembering his own words]
Ryo: ...enemy deserve no mercy.
[Growls and brings fist to Ten Tei's nose, but honks it instead of delivering a fatal blow]
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Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby SMDzero » Fri Mar 11, 2016 5:07 pm

How come no one celebrates Christmas in Kowloon?


Because of Jew Yuan Da.
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Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby GYO6161 » Sat Mar 19, 2016 12:28 am

Image

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Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby Let's Get Sweaty » Thu Oct 13, 2016 3:45 am

How does Master Lishao Tao keep her breath minty fresh?

Xiuying gum.

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Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby ShenGCH » Thu Oct 13, 2016 4:09 am

Let's Get Sweaty wrote: How does Master Lishao Tao keep her breath minty fresh?

Xiuying gum.

That's great =D>
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Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby MiTT3NZ » Thu Oct 13, 2016 7:31 am

Why did the sailor kick Mark's lunch into the sea?

To feed his brother.


Ryo's encounter with Charlie in Sakuragaoka was nothing new to him. He's always putting balls in sailors faces.

Speaking of which I always found it weird that in the western version of the game you can't buy coke but you can still look for Charlie.

I reckon Tom used to sell it. That's not being racist, it's just that whenever Ryo asks him about Charlie he always has this dreaded look on his face.

It's probably coz undercover police are about during the day, coz if he asks him at night his face lights up.

Shenmue's a great game though. It's proper realistic and you can do plenty of things I did when I was 18: Help look after the local cat, get a job to support yourself, spending a loada money at the arcade, following eight year olds, listening to music on your Walkman, etc.

Obviously though there are things that definitely aren't realistic. There's the floating sword, not needin to eat, and of course the busses are always bang on time.

Yeah, Yu Suzuki's a genius. If he can't do it then it can't be done. It's a shame that he couldn't figure out how to prevent finger burn for that Psy-Phi game he was designing. I mean, being able to swipe a screen instead of pressing a button could've revolutionised the industry. Such a shame...

No but I do reckon it takes a certain level of bravery for Suzuki to put Shenmue III on Kickstarter. He's really put his career on the line for this, taking time out of his busy schedule of talking about Shenmue III to develop Shenmue III.

He is a living legend though, and as such deserves our respect. And our money, apparently. After all, this is a passion project, so we need to help alleviate the financial burden. I mean, do you have any idea how much it costs to insure five ferraris nowadays?

At the end of the day though, Shenmue has brought people together from all over the globe and has created a fantastic community. I think the lesson we can take from this journey is that if you pester someone for twelve years you'll eventually get what you want. This means that if I start now at 27 years old I may just lose my virginity before I hit 40.

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Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby ShenmueForeseen » Sat Oct 15, 2016 10:50 am

GYO6161 wrote: Image


Holy shit my dumb 12 year old self got stuck on that repeatedly. I was playing it on Dreamcast in Japanese and didn't read the subtitles properly, I just kept trying it again and again thinking I simply wasn't quick enough. Eventually my friend who also owned it told me what to do, boy did I feel stupid.

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Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby SMDzero » Sun Oct 16, 2016 3:52 pm

Why did Ryo go to Vietnam in Shenmue 3?

Because he was still looking for "Charlie".
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Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby Let's Get Sweaty » Fri Oct 21, 2016 7:44 am

Which product, bought with the money raised through PayPal, will be used to spike Ryo's hair in Shenmue III?

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Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby Peter » Fri Oct 21, 2016 1:31 pm

MiTT3NZ wrote: Why did the sailor kick Mark's lunch into the sea?

To feed his brother.


Fucking savage =D>
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Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby SMDzero » Fri Oct 21, 2016 3:49 pm

Peter wrote:
MiTT3NZ wrote: Why did the sailor kick Mark's lunch into the sea?

To feed his brother.


Fucking savage =D>



Mark's Brother: Hey there ain't even no food on this plate! There's just food drawn on it!!!!!!! Is this your idea of a sick joke Mad Angeles?!
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