Shenmue Jokes Thread

(Chapter 1 | General Series Discussion)

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby Mr357 » Fri Feb 05, 2016 3:53 pm

What does Lan Di say before paying his barber?

Hand. Over. The mirror.

Mr357 has received 3 thanks from: FlagshipFighter, Jibby, mceja
User avatar
Mr357
"After Burner...Great!"
"After Burner...Great!"
 
Joined: March 2015
Location: United States
Favorite title: Shenmue II

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby Jibby » Fri Feb 05, 2016 9:17 pm

If the Shenmue Dojo had a dating service, what would it be called?

Lucky Hit

Jibby has received 2 thanks from: FlagshipFighter, Mr357
User avatar
Jibby
I see.
Alpha Trading Boss
 
Joined: February 2014
Location: Scotland
Favorite title: Shenmue II

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby Switch » Sat Feb 06, 2016 6:25 am

In the mountainous region of Guilin, Ryo is walking along a dirt road next to a turquoise-blue river.

Without warning, the wind starts to pick up and storm clouds gather. The dark sky overhead is lit suddenly by a flash of lightning which is soon followed by a rumble of thunder. Heavy drops of rain begin to fall. "I'd better hurry!" Ryo exclaims worriedly, quickening his pace. Soon the once-peaceful river has been transformed into a muddy torrent.

Suddenly he peers into the river, and his lips curl back in horror. He looks again but there's no doubt about it - there it is, being carried along, helpless and vulnerable in the dangerous current. It is up to him to perform a rescue. Without a thought for his own safety, he tosses aside his backpack and plunges into the frigid and raging waters. Fiercely, he swims through the river, fighting against the powerful current. After a long struggle, he eventually manages to drag himself onto a riverbank and collapses there, exhausted.

Many minutes later, he finds the energy to pull himself up, and notices that the storm has passed. But his attention turns immediately to the object of his rescue - is it unharmed?

Then Ryo groans in despair as he uncurls his tightly-clasped fingers, his dream of completing his collection going up in smoke as he splits open the capsule: "Crap, another Super Ball!"

Switch has received 2 thanks from: FlagshipFighter, Mr357
User avatar
Switch
News Poster
News Poster
 
Joined: January 2014
Location: Japan

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby FlagshipFighter » Sat Feb 06, 2016 6:28 am

Jibby wrote:If the Shenmue Dojo had a dating service, what would it be called?

Lucky Hit

And what would Ryo write for his profile motto?

Let's get sweaty!

FlagshipFighter has received a thanks from: Jibby
User avatar
FlagshipFighter
Alpha Trading Boss
Alpha Trading Boss
 
Joined: March 2012
Location: UK
PSN: FlagshipFighter
XBL: FlagshipFighter
Steam: FlagshipFighter
Favorite title: Shenmue IIx

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby SMDzero » Sat Feb 06, 2016 9:32 am

What does Iwao serve for breakfast when his son is depressed?


Cheerios
SMDzero
Banned
Banned
 
Joined: June 2015

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby GYO6161 » Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:39 am

Image

GYO6161 has received 2 thanks from: mceja, Yokosuka
User avatar
GYO6161
Man Mo Acolyte
Man Mo Acolyte
 
Joined: September 2015
Favorite title: Shenmue IIx
Currently playing: God of War

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby Jibby » Mon Feb 08, 2016 3:06 am

Who is the most sleepy character in Shenmue?

Yuan

Jibby has received 2 thanks from: FlagshipFighter, Mr357
User avatar
Jibby
I see.
Alpha Trading Boss
 
Joined: February 2014
Location: Scotland
Favorite title: Shenmue II

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby SMDzero » Mon Feb 08, 2016 4:38 am

What type of tea is Ryo and Shenhua apparently still drinking in Bailu Village?


Chai.......... ehhh....brought back due to popular demand!!!

SMDzero has received a thanks from: FlagshipFighter
SMDzero
Banned
Banned
 
Joined: June 2015

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby SMDzero » Tue Feb 09, 2016 2:31 am

What happened to Goro when he went to the States to hang with Tom?




He was immediately jailed for the statutory rape of Mai and sentenced to 30 years in federal prison.

"Ahhhh... I'm getting sent to the can my man!!!!!! I hope I get out in time...ooooooohhhhh!!!!!!!"

SMDzero has received 2 thanks from: FlagshipFighter, Mr357
SMDzero
Banned
Banned
 
Joined: June 2015

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby SMDzero » Tue Feb 09, 2016 10:16 pm

Why will Shenmue 3 be cancelled on January 20th 2017?


Because when Donald Trump becomes President he'll crack down on anything to do with China.
SMDzero
Banned
Banned
 
Joined: June 2015

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby GYO6161 » Wed Feb 10, 2016 1:08 am

SMDzero wrote: Why will Shenmue 3 be cancelled on January 20th 2017?


Because when Donald Trump becomes President he'll crack down on anything to do with China.

this is a jokes thread :( that aint funneh :( :( icri
User avatar
GYO6161
Man Mo Acolyte
Man Mo Acolyte
 
Joined: September 2015
Favorite title: Shenmue IIx
Currently playing: God of War

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby Mr357 » Wed Feb 10, 2016 1:28 am

SMDzero wrote: Why will Shenmue 3 be cancelled on January 20th 2017?


Because when Donald Trump becomes President he'll crack down on anything to do with China.


Not to derail, but you're mistaken about that. :D

phpBB [video]

Mr357 has received a thanks from: SMDzero
User avatar
Mr357
"After Burner...Great!"
"After Burner...Great!"
 
Joined: March 2015
Location: United States
Favorite title: Shenmue II

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby SMDzero » Thu Feb 11, 2016 3:19 am

Why is Shenmue 3 losing the Advanced Free Battle and Ragdoll reaction stretch goals?


Because Hillary Clinton gave a speech to Shibuya Productions and they had to pay her $600,000. out of the budget :cry: :cry: :cry:

SMDzero has received a thanks from: Mr357
SMDzero
Banned
Banned
 
Joined: June 2015

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby GYO6161 » Fri Feb 12, 2016 4:59 am

What are Ryo's words before starting a early morning jog?

''Let's get Sweaty''
User avatar
GYO6161
Man Mo Acolyte
Man Mo Acolyte
 
Joined: September 2015
Favorite title: Shenmue IIx
Currently playing: God of War

Re: Shenmue Jokes Thread

Postby SMDzero » Fri Feb 12, 2016 11:56 pm

Here's the "bad ending" of Shenmue 3 right before the final fight between Ryo and Lan Di.


Lan Di: Come on, get up! Get on that line! Get on that line, Hazuki! You're worthless! Your father's nothing! Get up, man! You're no fighter! Get up! You suck, Hazuki! You suck, man! And your father's karate shit! You hear me! It's shit!

[Ryo looks over to Shenhua]

Lan Di: You're a joke, Hazuki! Your karate's a joke and your father wasn't worth shit! He's nothing! He's nothing! And you're nothing! I own you! I own you, Hazuki! Where's your little Jap teacher now, huh! He was a phony, man! He was a fake and he didn't teach you nothing! Your karate's shit! You hear me! Get up!

(Ryo gets up bows to Shenhua and starts doing Tai Chi)

Niao Sun: Get him Lan Di.. he's hallucinating!

(Lan Di attacks Ryo and.... kills him right there).

SMDzero has received a thanks from: Mr357
SMDzero
Banned
Banned
 
Joined: June 2015

PreviousNext

Return to Shenmue

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Powered by phpBB © 2000-
ShenmueDojo.net