Suicide

[Vome]

All I can say is that you shouldn't really think about suicide at all.

[south carmain]

All I can say is that you shouldn't really write "shouldn't" as "shouldent" at all.

[shengoro86]

All I can say is that you shouldn't really think about suicide at all.

This is right which is why I made this topic.

Lately, personally I was feeling much better but just yesterday it hit me again. I de-admined myself from Shenmue 500k to kind of decompress a bit.

Peter: We should talk on Skype. I feel like you have a lot on your mind and I want to help you through it.

[Peter]

Oh dude I suppose I should have updated this


Well first off, I am in a much better place! I patched things up with my best friend, and he in fact fronted me the money to hopefully make a pledge to the Shenmue Kickstarter.

I have also met a female, and it's been going well. Haven't pulled the trigger to become an exclusive couple yet, but we are not that far off having that conversation.

Also, we have Shenmue 3 on the way, a LOT of work going on, and also kept so busy with the Shenmue community and some Shenmue projects!

So doing great! it's amazing how things can turn around so quickly for the better

[shengoro86]

Oh dude I suppose I should have updated this


Well first off, I am in a much better place! I patched things up with my best friend, and he in fact fronted me the money to hopefully make a pledge to the Shenmue Kickstarter.

I have also met a female, and it's been going well. Haven't pulled the trigger to become an exclusive couple yet, but we are not that far off having that conversation.

Also, we have Shenmue 3 on the way, a LOT of work going on, and also kept so busy with the Shenmue community and some Shenmue projects!

So doing great! it's amazing how things can turn around so quickly for the better

Thats great dude! Glad to hear all is going well.

To all: I made a blog to detail thoughts on life and such to help me write out my thoughts. Check it out if you like.
https://jamesreiner.wordpress.com/

[Rakim]

nice new sig picture shengoro. The Pillows is God.

[shengoro86]

nice new sig picture shengoro. The Pillows is God.

They have been my favorite band since 1997

[Mr. Frozen]

This a pretty good video about suicide. It is a lecture given by Professor Shelly Kagan about suicide. It is a very logical way to look at suicide, with all the emotional baggage that this topic carries removed. Videos that any suicidal person should watch, I think.

phpBB [video]

phpBB [video]

[elfshadowreaper]

I've never been suicidal before but I've definitely been pretty depressed. I'd say it's very important to know what your purpose in life is. For example, my purpose right now, and will be for the rest of my life really, is to love and take care of my wife and daughter as much as I possibly can. I've never been more blessed in my life than the day I married my wife and the day my little girl was born. It's amazing, all I want to do in life is shower my daughter with love. She's so precious to me.

Our culture likes to preach that it's all about me, me, me. Just turn on the tv and you'll see proof. But humans just have to know they have a purpose in this life or they'll feel unfulfilled and that can lead to depression which can lead to suicidal thoughts.

But knowing your purpose in life doesn't guarantee a life free from those kinds of thoughts. Sometimes our brains or just predisposed to depression. And I'm a firm believer that medication may be necessary for some people. And there's no shame in that at all.

[shengoro86]

To all: I made a blog to detail thoughts on life and such to help me write out my thoughts. Check it out if you like.
https://jamesreiner.wordpress.com/

Shengoro86, I know I do not know you or any of the other members here personally, but this forum topic caught my attention and it genuinely alarmed me. So all in all, I just had the maternal instinct to stop by and say something that can offer some form of comfort or advice. I hope I do not come across as intrusive but I did take some time to read your blog and I must say, you are pretty brave to say what you feel about Sam. I truly hope that you and Sam work things out and I'm very sorry for your heartbreak. I know how you feel, and trust me, things will get better. And I'm not just saying that just because. I say this because I understand where you are coming from. Going back to what you mentioned in your blog post and I quote:

"For the last couple of years in our relationship, I dwelled into issues that led us to begin having a dead relationship. I was too much into my hobbies and I took time away from being emotionally there for her. I spent too much time working and playing Shenmue when I should have been being intimate with her. It is for these reasons and other major imperfections that we are no longer together."

I really must express that it is imperative that you do not blame yourself for a failed relationship. The reason being is that people simply change. You have to recognize that what you do and what you love is what makes you unique to the world and what may have attracted Sam to you in the first place. But that doesn't mean that there isn't another woman out there for you-- or that you and Sam won't get back together, or what have you. That is unfortunately up to fate and circumstance. Changing who you are, finding new friends, finding new hobbies is just denying a part of you that is real. And for that, as horrible as this may sound, is not worth it for anyone no matter what.

I had the experience of dating a guy for a couple years out of college and then all of sudden, he just wasn't the same guy. He was my best friend. I never had qualms with any of his friends, his smoking habit, and he worked as a cop. I actually considered myself as one of those girls that guys could talk to because I was level-headed and pragmatic. And then one day I caught him cheating on me. I blamed myself... but then I realized he wasn't interested anymore. After all, we were in our early twenties and he didn't want to be tied down with me. He actually told me I was the marrying kind. I don't know if that's a compliment or a veiled attempt at calling me the last chance kind of girl, lol. I can joke about it now, but it did hurt. But in all relationships that come to an end, no matter what the circumstance, you move on and hopefully land with someone better (who will love you just as equally and unconditionally). People can change in an instant, and I don't want to say this but it must be said. Sometimes people do want to experience the dating life and see what's out there. But most of the time they come to realize that everything they wanted in a person was already there and perhaps they took it for granted. I don't really know your situation thoroughly to come to that conclusion, but again, life does happen and you have to fulfill obligations that require your attention. There's nothing wrong with that.

I live in a city with plenty of attractive and smart women (competition!), but I didn't go out there and change the way I look or think because I got hurt. I would have never found my guy today. And I'm the Shenmue fanatic in the relationship... lol. If you feel that you can make improvements in your life, go right ahead. But don't do it for the hopes of getting your loved one back. You have to keep in mind that if you do make positive changes in your life you will feel better... but that doesn't necessarily mean she will magically come back. Talk to her about how you feel and listen to how she feels and what she expects in a relationship. However, if you know that neither one of you can come to terms with how to make things work... you guys need to move on and wish eachother the best of luck.

Don't do anything to hurt yourself, please. You have a lot to live for... not just relationship-wise. You seem like a very respected and valued member here (judging by the comments), and you seem friendly too. I'm not going to lecture you and say "You should think of what people will say if you do this or that" and just wag my finger at you disapprovingly. You have every right to feel what you feel, especially when there was so much time and love invested in this relationship. I hope you take the time to truly do what makes you happy and heal. You deserve to be loved just like everyone else does, not to quote a Smith's song but old Morrissey had some sense. But stay away from The Smiths for now, that is really depressing stuff to listen to... especially after a break up. He's made many men lose their man card.

[Rakim]

Stay away from the smiths? Hogwash!

phpBB [video]

[Mr. Frozen]

This a pretty good video about suicide. It is a lecture given by Professor Shelly Kagan about suicide. It is a very logical way to look at suicide, with all the emotional baggage that this topic carries removed. Videos that any suicidal person should watch, I think.

phpBB [video]

phpBB [video]

Ok, these two videos are rather long, so I'll post what I got from these two lectures. Basically, if you are considering suicide you are in a state of emotional distress where you cannot trust your own decisions regarding your life. If you are not in the state where you are suicidal, it is a pretty good idea to consider when you think killing yourself is the best idea. There are many theories on the value of life, but the one I think is the best is the container theory that states, life can only get so good, and life can get only so bad. Basically, think of the happiness in your life as a graph, with the x axis being time, y axis being your happiness at the current moment. If you are above the 0, your life is worth living at the current moment, below 0, your life is not worth living at the current moment. The decision on taking your life is a prediction on the area under the graph. If you think the time spent under this dividing line will be more than the time spent over that line, then it is better to take your life.

But how can you tell if in the future, your life will not be worth living? What if life gets better and continues to get better? This is where the mental state I mentioned earlier comes in. If you are severely depressed, you have no hope and will think there is no way to make things better, which is why I said it is good to think about such things when you are in a healthy state of mind. Personally, I would say suicide is not an option if you have the ability to change your situation. I think it would be rational to end your life if you made multiple attempts to improve your situation yet continuously failed for reasons out of your control. Like say you are a girl that was kidnapped from your parents as a baby and raised to be a sex slave. Over the years your captors basically kept you away from the world, but allowed you to watch TV and see what your life can be like if you were not in your current situation. Your captors also use you as a sex slave, raping you nearly every day, physically abusing you, and forcing you to do terrible things. You tried to escape many times through the years, yet every time you were caught and were punished as a result. A this point it is ridiculous to expect the person to continue living their life of horror. I mentioned this situation because it did happen in the US (I cant remember exact names and locations so I can't find a source), and the girl decided to take her life (I think she was like in her early 20s at the time) by drinking kitchen chemicals. The interesting thing is that her decision for her to take her own life was what ultimately saved her, as her captors had to take her to the hospital and she3 was able to escape during this period. She now has the ability to live life how she wants, but will her life from now on be able to make up for the atrocities that happened to her in the past? She no doubt had experienced enough psychological trauma that affects her ability to enjoy life right now. If she hated her children, I really wouldn't blame her for commiting suicide.

[ShenSun]

Oh dude I suppose I should have updated this


Well first off, I am in a much better place! I patched things up with my best friend, and he in fact fronted me the money to hopefully make a pledge to the Shenmue Kickstarter.

I have also met a female, and it's been going well. Haven't pulled the trigger to become an exclusive couple yet, but we are not that far off having that conversation.

Also, we have Shenmue 3 on the way, a LOT of work going on, and also kept so busy with the Shenmue community and some Shenmue projects!

So doing great! it's amazing how things can turn around so quickly for the better

Ah man, thats so awesome. There's so much out there; we just have to keep pushing forward.

James, I'll definitely check out your blog.

[PILMAN]

I don't feel too comfortable putting stuff on forums but I can give some limited information.

I've had issues with depression and primarily pure obsessive compulsive disorder which I am under treatment for with medication, sometimes it becomes very difficult to do the most basic things and sometimes seems that OCD is just some condition where people clean their hands a lot or organize, the reality is OCD is a devastating psychological issue of intrusive thoughts. A lot of times it can cause you to doubt even your own self even though you know those thoughts are simply thoughts but the brain creates a circle of doubt. It does lead into anxiety and depression. I would say I have made some major improvements compared to years ago. A lot of it is just letting those thoughts go.

My dad had some similar issues but he committed suicide in 2003 when I was 17 because of massive depression, as a result, I've took every preventive step to allow that to ever happen to me, most of it is just enjoying every day I can.

[shengoro86]

To all: I made a blog to detail thoughts on life and such to help me write out my thoughts. Check it out if you like.
https://jamesreiner.wordpress.com/

Shengoro86, I know I do not know you or any of the other members here personally, but this forum topic caught my attention and it genuinely alarmed me. So all in all, I just had the maternal instinct to stop by and say something that can offer some form of comfort or advice. I hope I do not come across as intrusive but I did take some time to read your blog and I must say, you are pretty brave to say what you feel about Sam. I truly hope that you and Sam work things out and I'm very sorry for your heartbreak. I know how you feel, and trust me, things will get better. And I'm not just saying that just because. I say this because I understand where you are coming from. Going back to what you mentioned in your blog post and I quote:

"For the last couple of years in our relationship, I dwelled into issues that led us to begin having a dead relationship. I was too much into my hobbies and I took time away from being emotionally there for her. I spent too much time working and playing Shenmue when I should have been being intimate with her. It is for these reasons and other major imperfections that we are no longer together."

I really must express that it is imperative that you do not blame yourself for a failed relationship. The reason being is that people simply change. You have to recognize that what you do and what you love is what makes you unique to the world and what may have attracted Sam to you in the first place. But that doesn't mean that there isn't another woman out there for you-- or that you and Sam won't get back together, or what have you. That is unfortunately up to fate and circumstance. Changing who you are, finding new friends, finding new hobbies is just denying a part of you that is real. And for that, as horrible as this may sound, is not worth it for anyone no matter what.

I had the experience of dating a guy for a couple years out of college and then all of sudden, he just wasn't the same guy. He was my best friend. I never had qualms with any of his friends, his smoking habit, and he worked as a cop. I actually considered myself as one of those girls that guys could talk to because I was level-headed and pragmatic. And then one day I caught him cheating on me. I blamed myself... but then I realized he wasn't interested anymore. After all, we were in our early twenties and he didn't want to be tied down with me. He actually told me I was the marrying kind. I don't know if that's a compliment or a veiled attempt at calling me the last chance kind of girl, lol. I can joke about it now, but it did hurt. But in all relationships that come to an end, no matter what the circumstance, you move on and hopefully land with someone better (who will love you just as equally and unconditionally). People can change in an instant, and I don't want to say this but it must be said. Sometimes people do want to experience the dating life and see what's out there. But most of the time they come to realize that everything they wanted in a person was already there and perhaps they took it for granted. I don't really know your situation thoroughly to come to that conclusion, but again, life does happen and you have to fulfill obligations that require your attention. There's nothing wrong with that.

I live in a city with plenty of attractive and smart women (competition!), but I didn't go out there and change the way I look or think because I got hurt. I would have never found my guy today. And I'm the Shenmue fanatic in the relationship... lol. If you feel that you can make improvements in your life, go right ahead. But don't do it for the hopes of getting your loved one back. You have to keep in mind that if you do make positive changes in your life you will feel better... but that doesn't necessarily mean she will magically come back. Talk to her about how you feel and listen to how she feels and what she expects in a relationship. However, if you know that neither one of you can come to terms with how to make things work... you guys need to move on and wish eachother the best of luck.

Don't do anything to hurt yourself, please. You have a lot to live for... not just relationship-wise. You seem like a very respected and valued member here (judging by the comments), and you seem friendly too. I'm not going to lecture you and say "You should think of what people will say if you do this or that" and just wag my finger at you disapprovingly. You have every right to feel what you feel, especially when there was so much time and love invested in this relationship. I hope you take the time to truly do what makes you happy and heal. You deserve to be loved just like everyone else does, not to quote a Smith's song but old Morrissey had some sense. But stay away from The Smiths for now, that is really depressing stuff to listen to... especially after a break up. He's made many men lose their man card.

This made me feel a lot better. Thank you for taking the time to write this <3
I do not feel you are intruding in any way by writing this.
I agree with you 100%. Just takes time to heal.
Feel free to PM me anytime.
/james