December 3rd 1986
It’s been four days since that day and I’m still troubled by dreams of my father’s death. No matter how much I try, I cannot get this feeling out of my mind. I tried to eat breakfast but I was only reminded of all the breakfasts I’ve shared with my father. I instead chose to go hungry this morning. I did not feel like eating much at all. After praying at the altar, I found my way into my father’s office. It was hard being in that room again, knowing that he would never again be there to greet me—never again scorn me for looking through his things. Even still, I entered, and found a note that he had left for me. It’s clear now that my father knew this day was coming. In his note, my father told me that I must make my own path in life. But how can I make such a choice when this overwhelming sense of duty looms over my mind. My father did not deserve to die in this way, and I will get my revenge.
After going back to my room to gather my things, I noticed a photograph of my friends. Naoyuki has been attempting to reach out to me since the day of the incident, yet I have still to this day been ignoring his condolences. We’ve been best friends since elementary school, and I know he’s only worried about me, but somehow I didn’t want to hear it from him—or any of my friends. Up until now, my father’s death has been isolated to the dojo. As soon as it extends its reach to the outside world, somehow it feels more real. But his death is real, and so are my friends. I owe it to them to be available, to at least share a bit of my grief. I decided to give Naoyuki a call this morning, but I only managed to get ahold of his sister Kyoko. She mentioned he was out and didn’t know where. I later ran into him working on his motorcycle, but our conversation was more awkward than I expected. It seemed as though he didn’t know what to say to me—it’s as if I expected my friends to be much better at this. As it turns out, this is hard for everybody.
Even at the disapproval of both Ine-san and Fuku-san, I decided to ask around Sakuragaoka for any leads concerning the death of my father. The only lead I have is that they were driving a black car. Both Sumiya-san and Yamagishi-san saw the black car and mentioned that it had headed towards Dobuita. And I know quite a few of the shop owners in Dobuita, so I figured I might as well do some asking around town. On my way into Dobuita, I noticed a stray orange and white cat walking back towards Saguragaoka. I had forgot to mention, but Mayumi’s little sister, Megumi, was taking care of an orphaned stray kitten in Yamanose. She says that the kitten’s mother had been hit by the black car I’ve been investigating. Which I guess means the kitten and I have more than a bit in common. We fed the kitten some dried fish and Megumi says she wants me to come up with a name for it. I couldn’t think of anything at the time, so I told her I’d let her know when I think of something. It’s still so tiny. I hope it finds a home soon.
I ran into Tom almost as soon as I got to Dobuita. Tom’s my friend, and I know he means well, but he keeps offering me his “special hot dogs” and his “homemade pickles”. He knows that I’m not into that kind of thing, but he keeps offering anyway. I decided to let it go, but sometimes I feel a bit sorry for Honey-san. Anyway, Tom said he didn’t know anything about the black car, but after talking to Nozomi, she mentioned that Tom had been seen yelling at the people in the black car. I’m not sure why Tom would lie to me like this, but it sort of made me angry and I confronted him. He eventually told me that he believed those in the car to be Chinese. I finally had another lead. I need to find anyone who can tell me about the Chinese. This proved easy enough, since according to Tao-san at the Ajiichi restaurant, there are Chinese all over Yokosuka. Tao-san’s wife mentioned that I should seek out members of the “Three Blades”. This refers to members of the following trades: barbers, tailors, and cooks. Each trade is easy to start up and most of the Chinese who came to japan became involved in one of these three trades. I decided to head home for now, since it was getting late, and begin my investigation of the “three blades” tomorrow.
On my way home I ran into Nozomi and we exchanged a few words. She seems a bit worried about me, so I decided to give her a call when I got home. She lives with her grandmother currently because both of her parents live in Vancouver. Vancouver is a place in Canada. It’s always been a bit challenging for her here in Japan. Many of our classmates would discriminate against her because they believed that she “wasn’t really Japanese”, merely because she was born out of the country. But I’ve never really felt sorry for her, because although she’s very shy, she never once shows any discouragement regarding her situation. Although, at times, I wonder if she might be happier in Canada. Anyway, she and I exchanged a few short words and I decided to get ready for bed.
Before bed I took one more look into my father’s room and went through his things. The first thing I found was a small key, which I pocketed, but the second thing I found was an old Go board that he and I used to play. I was always terrible at the game, yet he insisted that I play with him. He used to say “Ryo, you lose because you focus too much on each individual conflict, but fail to consider the long game”. He often criticized me for not looking at the big picture, and I suppose he was right. But what I lack in foresight, I make up for in focus. And right now I am focused on one thing. My father will get his justice.