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Re: soccer

In an attempt to release the boredom of his injured star players, and aware that idle hands do the devil's work, Ferguson gives all his players tasks to do. To one Wayne Rooney he tells him to go away while his leg gash heals and try and complete a jigsaw.

Late in the evening, about 10pm, a massively frustrated Rooney calls Ferguson exasperated and starts shouting "it's impossible, impossible, none of the pieces fit, it looks nothing like the picture and its too difficult, why did you ask me to do a jigsaw Mr Ferguson, Why? Why?"

Ferguson, clearly worried he's somehow wound up his star striker, goes round to Rooney's and finds him sitting at the table, red-faced, breathing heavily, clearly on the verge of another explosive fit of rage.

Ferguson calmly asks: "What's the jigsaw of then Wayne?"

"It's meant to be a cockerel," Wayne snaps back, almost in tears.

Fergie walks to the table and then rests his hand on Wayne's shoulder. "Come on lad," he says reassuringly, "let's get these cornflakes back in the box and get you to bed."
by QWERTY
Tue Sep 11, 2012 8:21 pm
 
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Re: Things That Made You Laugh Today

:rotflmao:

My Social Security confirmation letter one of the offical diagnoses I had no idea about is Schizoid personality disorder Damn I'm more fucked in the head than I knew about :lol:

Schizoid personality disorder (SPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, and apathy. Affected individuals may also demonstrate a simultaneous rich, elaborate, and exclusively internal fantasy world,[1] although this is often more suggestive of schizotypal personality disorder.

SPD is not the same as schizophrenia, although they share some similar characteristics, such as detachment or blunted affect. However, there is increased prevalence of the disorder in families with schizophrenia.[2]

The psychologist Nancy McWilliams argues that the definition of SPD is flawed due to cultural bias: "One reason schizoid people are pathologized is because they are comparatively rare. People in majorities tend to assume that their own psychology is normative and to equate difference with inferiority.2

:shock:
by QWERTY
Wed Sep 12, 2012 2:22 pm
 
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Re: Online Gaming: Your Genius Moments

*gets willy out and starts waving it about in public*
by QWERTY
Sun Sep 16, 2012 6:16 pm
 
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Re: The new Robocop suit

I wasn't bitching tho...and that's what I said. Give it a chance. :???:

I was talking in general, dude. No matter what happens, I'll be surprised if this turns out to bear any semblance of decency as a cinematic thrill as much as the original going by the rumours of all the crap the director has dealt with already. Whatever comes from this, we still have the original.
by QWERTY
Sun Sep 16, 2012 6:26 pm
 
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Re: Lost the love.

Lol.

Yeah this exactly how I feel actually. Although I'm still playing Pro Evo 2011 as I'm trying to do a whole career in Become a Legend. Takes AGES. I have been World Player of the Year twice before 24 on expert though. I have a massive amount of games that I have acquired in the last 6 or 7 years that I've played for an hour or so and then just consigned to the shelf due to lack of interest. Metroid Prime 2, XIII, Skyward Sword, Infamous, Mass Effect 2, Uncharted 2, Red Dead Redemption, Donkey Kong Country Returns, Goldeneye Wii...

I just can't be arsed anymore. Journey was perfect for me as it encompassed a lot of what I want a game to be and more but it was an experience that didn't have the prerequisite of laying out the essential details of the story as there wasn't one to make crystal clear. Basic gaming at its best but yet one that still had a soul due to exceptionally well crafted design. The fact that it only lasted a couple of hours was great too as not everyone has a huge amount of time to invest in a game as you get older. Being the same length as a present-day film was perfect for me. Some could say that this now makes me a "casual gamer". Well, I'd disagree. Casual gamers in my eyes are those that only have interest in the middle of the road, banal, sub-standard Electronic Arts ting, yet they can play for HOURS. I still love my quirky shit, but on a much lesser scale.
by QWERTY
Fri Sep 28, 2012 9:09 pm
 
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Re: Random Thoughts! v2.0

Nintendo took ideas I had for a Zelda (tho they put it in a couple different games) when I sent them a letter when I was younger and more niave.

Indulge us.

Kanye West and Wiley stole my (ironic but brilliant) idea of sampling Daft Punk tracks.

Oh so YOU'RE responsible for those bags of shite?
by QWERTY
Sun Sep 30, 2012 6:47 pm
 
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Re: soccer

Sir Baconface of Whiskynose has always been a sore loser. I've never despised another team's manager to the same level as him. The sooner he steps down the better.
by QWERTY
Sun Sep 30, 2012 10:53 am
 
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Re: Random Thoughts! v2.0

MiTT3NZ wrote: QWERTY, I'm kinda disappointed you didn't get back to my PM.


Sorry. No I don't want to see pictures of your cock.
by QWERTY
Mon Oct 01, 2012 6:39 am
 
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Re: soccer

Can someone please change the title of this thread to Football? It's starting to piss me off now...

Anyway, I thought this was a good read:

http://diminbeirut.typepad.com/

Oliver Stone once said: “Paranoia is having all the facts”. Many of us die hard football fans know exactly what he means.

I've long held the view that something very fishy goes on in English football.

I’m not the most naturally trusting of guys anyways. When it comes to institutions, I'm downright skeptical of them. I have very little respect or trust in governments, police, and media or football institutions. It's not me being paranoid either: week after week, I’m proven correct on my doubts about them (to any Liverpool fan the findings of the Hillsborough report came as absolutely no surprise).

When it comes to football, it's not even lack of trust. It's plain common sense.

In recent years, we've had a huge number of corruption scandals all across Europe. Several of them in Italy, the corrupt referee Hoyser in Germany, Fenerbahce being docked their title in Turkey, Spain's second division scandals, Marseille a while ago in France, Porto in Portugal etc...

Of course, the one league where nothing ever gets proven to be dodgy is in England. The richest and most watched league in the world is, we are told, completely squeaky clean.

Leaving aside the sheer ridiculousness of that statement, ask yourself this: if corruption gets proven all across Europe, how is the most popular league in the world, with the biggest prize monies in football, whose clubs are owned by some of the richest people in the world, run by stakeholders that are the most powerful media moguls in the world, immune from this? With the amounts of money at stake, how has it managed to be so clean for so long?

To dismiss any talks of corruption in the premier league is to fall for 2 of the traits that characterize the English the most: a sheer egocentric belief that they are better than anyone else and their complete faith in the country's institutions. To them, it’s entirely logical that that stuff goes on abroad where institutions are corrupt, but it’s impossible in England. Just like diving is a foreign disease and Uruguay is the epicenter of racism, unlike the multi cultural tolerance of middle England.

I share neither of those traits. By pure logic, when I see corruption in every facet of English life (MP's expenses scandal, banking sector, the war on Iraq, Leveson enquiry, Hillsborough, The Guilford 4, The Birmingham 6 et all...) as well as entire European football, I ask why is it impossible as many deem, for it to be happening in English football too?

I have followed football since 1986. I have seen for years how Manchester United benefits from refereeing decisions. I don’t need an investigation to tell me this: it happens on a near weekly basis to the point where people are so immune to it, they laugh it off.



I have seen the influence Alex Ferguson has on every facet of the English game. When his Darren son got fired as manager of Preston North End, I watched with bemusement as Ferguson immediately recalled his loan players from Deepdale. I then watched in horror as another club in the premier league, managed by Ferguson’s father’s friend Tony Pullis, also recalled their loan players from PNE.

The message was clear: Mess with Mr Ferguson or his children, and you will be punished.

And not just from Mr Ferguson either. By his friends in football.

Recently, ex referee Jeff Winter stated that he once sent Roy Keane off in a match. He was then criticized by Ferguson and not given a Manchester United game to referee for 2 years. He saw that as punishment as he said that “The FA is reticent to give Manchester United games to referees that Ferguson has criticized in the past”.



Read that statement again. Ferguson criticizes referees that give decisions against his club. Most likely, these decisions happen in games Manchester United lose. The FA reacts to the criticism by not assigning said referees in future Manchester United games. Thus, the only referees assigned to United games are ones that Ferguson approves of.

The referees that have given decisions Ferguson deem to be incorrect against United, however, no longer referee their games (usually the most high profile ones). It’s a terrible indictment of sporting impartiality, justice and the way the game is run in England. This form of selective referee assignement led to the Juventus scandal in 2006.

Winter’s comments prompted me to do my own research. I focused on the referees that took charge of United 2 biggest high profile losses in the last decade or so.

Alain Wiley refereed United’s 4-1 loss to Liverpool in 2009. In that game, he gave both United and Liverpool penalties and sent off Nemanja Vidic. All 3 decisions were absolutely correct and Wiley was praised by Sky TV co-commentator Andy Gray for his performance. Not even Ferguson complained.



Later that year, Wiley was given another United game to referee and despite sending off Kieran Richardson of Sunderland, Wiley was lambasted by Ferguson for being “fat and unfit”. The game ended 2-2.

That would be the end of Wiley’s refereeing career. Wiley, it says cryptically on his Wikipedia page, “agreed to retire” at the end of that season. Agreed with whom? No one knows.

Last season, Manchester City romped to a 6-1 win at Old Trafford, inflicting on their rivals their biggest embarrassment under Ferguson. The referee on that day was Mark Clattenburg. He sent Johnny Evans off in the second half for a clear professional foul.

There have been 34 Man United league games since that day. The number of times times Clattenburg has refereed them? Zero. Not a single one.

It seems that the FA, for whatever reason, doesn’t want Clattenburg to referee Man United games anymore. Some of us more paranoid folk may just wonder who’s behind that decision.
The FA has no hesitation to hand United games to Howard Webb though: he’s been the most used referee in 34 United games since the 6-1 defeat to City.

Webb’s history in Man United games are well known and documented. All I have to say on the matter is that more than 18% of the penalties he’s awarded in his ENTIRE premier league refereeing career have gone to Manchester United. Over a 9 year period, that’s a huge percentage.



So in closing, let’s resume what we’ve discovered. We have an ex premier league referee who has openly stated he was not handed a Manchester United game for 2 years after sending off one of their players. We have an FA who, in said referee’s words, don’t hand Manchester United games to referees that the United manager has previously criticized.

We have a referee who took charge of a heavy United defeat and “agreed to retire” a year later after being called unfit by Alex Ferguson. We have another referee who hasn’t been handed a United game to officiate since he reffed a heavy United defeat 34 league games ago.

Meanwhile, the most used official in United games in that time is the man who has handed 18% of his entire career penalty awards to Ferguson’s team.

Factor in the fact that Manchester United CEO is ON THE BOARD OF the English FA, Alex Ferguson is a knight of the realm with political connections that go a lot deeper than football (just read Allistair Campbell’s diaries if you don’t believe me), and the evidence in the Darren Ferguson sacking that clubs that cross Ferguson get punished by his friends, and you have all the tools there for someone more investigative than me to really delve into.

But yet, nothing happens. Year on year, I watch as not a single journalist utters a peep on the subject. I watch as decision after decision goes United’s way and people in the UK, so much better than everyone else and trusting of their institutions remember, brush them off with insouciance.

In Italy, there would have been phone tap investigations a long time ago. In "so much cleaner than everywhere else" England, we’re paranoid.

Why is that?

Well, when you look at who runs the sport in the country, you understand a bit more. Rupert Murdoch’s Sky live off the premier league. So do his other publications like the Sun. The English media’s last priority is going to investigate and damage one of their biggest cash cows.



Imagine the hit to the revenue streams of the media and clubs if corruption is proved in the premier league? The richest league in the world, so carefully and beautifully marketed across the world, would suffer a huge blow. The effects an investigation would have on Manchester United, the cash cow’s biggest cash cow, would also be devastating.

So it’s all swept under the tabled and every refereeing decision shrugged off. “They even themselves out” we’re told by journalists who get banned from United press conferences for asking a question about team selection.

God knows what would happen to them if they investigate United’s behind the scenes dealings.

Maybe, like Preston, they’ll learn that if you cross Man United, all of football will turn their backs on you too…
by QWERTY
Tue Oct 02, 2012 1:23 pm
 
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Re: Graphics Question

Bluecast wrote: Every console is like a new toy and different. So you often discover a new switch and new feature.


Would these be all the different filters?
by QWERTY
Wed Oct 03, 2012 10:01 am
 
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Re: Biohazard

I do think they need to take a few years off with it.

Resi 5 was released in 2009, that's a 3 year hiatus, one could argue that they've already had a few years off and should have done better this time around. I downloaded and played the demo and didn't enjoy it at all. It seems they're aligning the series akin to a similar experience with watching the godawful movies, which is an absolute travesty. In the probable event that 6 sells by the fuck-ton (and who are we kidding; it will) then I can't see Capcom reverting back to the old formula. Regardless, I'm fairly tired of the story now anyway, so I would be more than happy to see another developer bring a similar new IP to the table which has an all new premise which doesn't rely on fucking zombies again. I would love to see something a bit more psychological in the vein of Jacob's Ladder as a game, Silent Hill had a vibe of this nature but that series has become tired too. I think my general point is developers need to start realising when to quit while ahead and start producing fresh survival horror stories rather than regurgitating the same old scenarios.
by QWERTY
Wed Oct 03, 2012 8:30 am
 
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Re: Post a pic of what you expected a member to look like.

Bluecast wrote: The fuck is with the forums as of late? I get banned for slashing my wrists but people left and right are posting porn and NSFW images and get nothing? s


No, you got banned for being a juvenile prick. Again.
by QWERTY
Fri Sep 28, 2012 9:18 pm
 
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Re: Blatant paedo is blatant

Jimmy Saville had a substantial hoard of jewellery. Apparently he loved nothing more than squeezing his fingers into a couple of tight rings.
by QWERTY
Wed Oct 03, 2012 10:08 am
 
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Re: Random Thoughts! v2.0

Bluecast wrote: Where are his posts? What has he done for the forums to be so valuable?


This far outweighs anything you have ever offered to the Dojo:

Image
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 04, 2012 5:58 am
 
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Butt Chugging: America's New Favourite Pastime

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/campus-overload/post/tennessee-frat-suspended-following-butt-chugging/2012/09/26/8ee1150e-07e5-11e2-a10c-fa5a255a9258_blog.html

What the hell is wrong with you people?

Early Saturday morning, an unresponsive University of Tennessee student was dropped off at a medical center with a blood alcohol content that local police say was “well over .40,” the point at which death can occur. How did the 20-year-old student get that dangerously drunk?

Campus police went to the student’s fraternity house, Pi Kappa Alpha (aka Pike), to find out. They found several males intoxicated or passed out — and this scene, as described by a Knoxville police spokesman in a Monday statement that was obtained by The Post: “Upon extensive questioning it is believed that members of the fraternity were utilizing rubber tubing inserted into their rectums as a conduit for alcohol as the abundance of capillaries and blood vessels present greatly heightens the level and speed of the alcohol entering the blood stream as it bypasses the filtering by the liver.”

I know the fair majority of you like to talk out of your arses but I didn't think you drank through it too.
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:38 am
 
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Re: What's on your walls? And say no to Dogi

I have a 100 x 70 cm stretched canvas print of this that my friends got me for my 30th birthday this year:

Image
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 04, 2012 2:41 pm
 
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Re: Random Thoughts! v2.0

Cobain is the most overrated celeb ever and fucking boring to hear about. How much more can people say that has not been said a billion fucking times and his ex wife continues to make money on his corpse.

Standard ignorant post. Kenny has said only a few posts up that he is someone who means an awful lot to him and you just come into the topic and completely disrespect his intentions. At least Dorian gave some kinda reason as to why he felt Kenny should steer clear of the subject. Not cool, man.
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:52 pm
 
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Re: Gaming thoughts of the day

Who Really Cares? wrote: In the end isn't smash Bros just a shameless cash in? Lame combat and the only thing that gets it attention are the characters. Take all those characters out and insert generic nobodies and the game would be lucky to sell 3 copies.


Er... not really. Have you played Smash Bros at all?
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 04, 2012 5:01 pm
 
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Re: Gamesmasters Dominik Diamond doing Youtube game reviews

Funniest Gamesmaster moment by far!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEFr6ACZ8sI[/youtube]
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 04, 2012 5:28 pm
 
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Re: Gboy/panda_rapist

Done. Although he hasn't logged in for over a month so not sure when he'll see it.
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:19 pm
 
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Re: Nights Into Dreams HD

Who Really Cares? wrote: It moves in 8-way directional while The original was 360 degree analog was what i read elsewhere. When trying to do a loop it just feels un natural now :|

They better fix it.


It's petition time! Or, make a Facebook group expressing our vehement disgust.
by QWERTY
Sat Oct 06, 2012 7:07 am
 
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Re: Random Thoughts! v2.0

Bluecast wrote: So Emma Watson maybe doing nude scenes in 50 shades of grey.

Man the theatre is going to have very sticky floors not from soda


Only paedos fancy a piece of her. She looks like a little boy.
by QWERTY
Sat Oct 06, 2012 12:34 pm
 
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Re: FAGGOT

I wrote my response to QWERTY late yesterday, and looking at it today, it doesn't have the context I thought it did when I typed, which was a spirit of kidding around. It looks downright mean. So, to QWERTY, if you're out there, I hope you didn't take the "faggot ewok" statement to be seriously said out of anger. I was laughing as I typed it. I love you, in the Platonic sense.

Also, if black and white text annoys you (it's supposed to be annoying), I'll stop .

;-) I really will. Just for you... if you're that keen on reading my bloviation.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m79f1zjuJs1qc9lhz.gif
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 11, 2012 12:31 pm
 
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Re: Random Thoughts! v2.0

Oh, and for the working hours/conditions argument...

Try working 72 hours a week over six days in a full suit in the boiling sun for a tenner a day, whilst havin to pay for your own travel to places you've never even heard of, and having to eat some shitty little 10p pic'n'mix for your lunch, maybe with some tap water left over from the bottle you've been rationing.


Explain, tenner a day is slave rates!?

Sounds like door to door sales.
by QWERTY
Fri Oct 12, 2012 7:24 am
 
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Re: What movie are you watching right now?

Jesus, Attack of the Clones is really shit, isn't it? Hayden Christensen is a total jeb end.
by QWERTY
Sat Oct 13, 2012 11:11 am
 
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Re: Random Thoughts! v2.0

Bluecast wrote:I'm too abnormal to agree.


What is the definition of normal though? No-one is normal. It's just some people are more weird than others.
by QWERTY
Sat Oct 13, 2012 12:45 pm
 
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Re: Random Thoughts! v2.0

Yokosuka Martian wrote: Some broad's selling a pair of Muse tickets for the 26th at the o2. whos up for it!?!?!?! lmao


Yeah man, I'll bring the rotten eggs and sacks of poo to lob at them. :D
by QWERTY
Sat Oct 13, 2012 1:34 pm
 
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Re: Gaming thoughts of the day

Actually upon reflection I'm not one to call anyone pathetic when I have an avatar of an Ewok telling you to prepare your anus.
by QWERTY
Sat Oct 13, 2012 2:46 pm
 
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Re: Nights Into Dreams HD

Which is a lot of people now days.


But then hey this is also the company that used a real slaughtered goat to advertise God of war II

Goats are animals that deserve it though. They are ridiculously stupid creatures.

No those PSP ads were blatant. It's what got them all fired.

They also got in legal trouble for the graffiti.

Nah I think they were sacked due to public pressure. No-one in their right mind would purposefully make such a social faux pas when your job is potentially on the line.
by QWERTY
Sat Oct 13, 2012 2:53 pm
 
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Re: Nights Into Dreams HD

Bluecast wrote:
Who Really Cares? wrote: Yep. The funny thing its Sony that was doing that this gen.

Sony was even worse with the racist ads and the white rapper psp guy and the dolls with PS3's.


It was evidently unitentionally racist though. The racists are those that found racism in it.
by QWERTY
Sat Oct 13, 2012 2:47 pm
 
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Re: The Junk Thread!

Shame. I'll just pop this here then...

Image
by QWERTY
Sat Oct 13, 2012 3:08 pm
 
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Re: FAGGOT

Rakim wrote: Did anyone ever tell you you kinda look like Val Kilmer for reals? And not the new fat Kilmer, the batman Kilmer.
Doing that adorable pouty face. Get over here!


No, but... fancy a bum?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebXGZQLsQJw[/youtube]
by QWERTY
Sat Oct 13, 2012 1:12 pm
 
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Re: Random Thoughts! v2.0

No. I used it for rent of this place. I went to a temp housing for a month while I was on the waiting list for this place. When I got here in December I used it toward rent. I closed my bank account before I moved however so the money went into my moms account. I only recently opened up a a new bank account.

Ok Coby, I believe you.
by QWERTY
Wed Oct 17, 2012 5:46 pm
 
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Re: Gaming thoughts of the day

If Panzer Dragoon Saga ever comes to PSN or XBL,I'm buying it. I won;t shell 300$ for ANY game not even Ys. 10-15$ PSN XBL in a snap

Same, although it's doubtful it will ever happen if the source code actually was lost. It's always been a game I've had my eye on but I struggle to justify paying that much for it.
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 18, 2012 12:05 pm
 
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Re: Gaming thoughts of the day

It's obvious since I spend more time with them than most modern gamers and a purely mathematical quotation will show that I have to play on a higher level if I put more time and effort into them.

Some of you are so ridiculously insecure and in need of so frequent ego revalidation that I'm really starting to wonder what hides behind all those avatars, what lies deep down inside?

I just get tired of reading the same old pretentious crap from you. You're consistently smearing your toxic attention-seeking unclever soulless cynical bollocks over the board like a mental patient finger-painting with their own shit.
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 18, 2012 1:12 pm
 
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Re: Gaming thoughts of the day

Playing games is not just a hobby; it's a way of life. Man.

Image
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:06 pm
 
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Re: Where did Henry Go?

QWERTY FOR MOD!

http://smilies.newcastlebeats.com/smilies/theyareontome.gif
That would be a lot of Anus being prepared.

But in all honestly being a mod is draining esp if you do it too long and you lose your damn mind and sense being if you care too much **COUGH**. I think that is why Yama does little to no moderating himself. Might help keep his own sanity. But just saying if some people need a break I would say Sonikku,Brothaman,Kenny would be great guys to do it.

Ha. I jest. No chance in hell I'd ever be picked for it and tbh I don't spend enough time here to be the mod that this place needs. Also there would be a fuck ton of people worried about random bannings and shit like that. I'm more than happy with being the resident blunt dickhead. I think Who Really Cares and Kenny would make good mods.
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 18, 2012 5:28 pm
 
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Re: Where did Henry Go?

wude wrote:
AnimeGamer183 wrote: Why do I always get Crimson Ryan and Henry Spencer confused?

same here, there must be an explanation


They both had similar Policenauts avatars.
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 18, 2012 6:46 pm
 
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Re: Where did Henry Go?

QWERTY FOR MOD!

Image
by QWERTY
Thu Oct 18, 2012 5:18 pm
 
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Re: Random Thoughts! v2.0

I just got offered alot of money to write a script and I have to be in Alaska to do it...waiting on the terms for this deal...

Oh shit kenny, they talkin big figures? 6 or more? Do you have an agent you can have look over it to make sure you arent gonna get fucked? If not, start looking for one. Unless you know absolutely what you are doing its usually best to let a pro handle the contract stuff, course he will take a small chunk of the change too.

6 figures for a novice scriptwriter? Are you mad?
by QWERTY
Sat Oct 20, 2012 9:58 am
 
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Re: Recent Gaming Purchases

Christ, you guys hoard games. I don't know how you find the time to play them. I buy a game once every 6 months, at most, yet rarely play them.
by QWERTY
Sat Apr 20, 2013 11:34 am
 
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