Grass me up, motherfucker

I got better at it as i progressed through it. I think that could be a flaw

Hey I'm dying too, let's form a club!

I heard damaged temporal lobes can make people have god delusions. DO you have a brain tumour maybe or a history of cocaine use?

Also on another note, I'm not taking this seriously.

Ok, so I've *seriously* given this a bash once before about 6 or 7 years ago and I managed 3 months by completely cutting everything out and going cold turkey. I've now been free of smoking fags (rollies) for two weeks now and I'm really struggling. I don't have any physical cravings, it's just the mental shit. Y'know? A conversation ends... go for a fag. Finish a meal... go for a fag. Get tanked up with your friends... have a plethora of fags. After spending nearly half of my life doing something so inherently habitual, how the fuck do I replace it? ARRRRGGHHHHH!

Replace all g's in the word fag in this post with p's (except for the first fag, fuck you)

"i just wanted to do hoodrat things with my friends."

Im going to kill that hooker that I've always been wanting to.

BLAND! BORING! IT LOOKS LIKE A DONKEY TOOK A SHIT ON THIS PLATE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBatREF52K8

It's a long shot, but I'm wondering if anyone is Russian here who can translate this song to english (if possible, judging by the video the lyrics might be totally out there.)

Also enjoy the video, its pure gold! Good song too.

Конь стучит копытом, свинка желудь ест,
Во дворе корыто, за забором крест...
Воробьишко плотный долбит клювом дерн,
В заводи болотной трудится бобер.

Пошто, пока я мылся в бане,
Мою корову увели?
Пошто, когда я был в районе,
Вы на Михрютку донесли?

Котик полосатый простоквашку пьет,
Старичок горбатый по полю идет,
Дети, сбившись в кучу, тащат борону,
Где-то пес певуче воет на Луну.

Пошто, еще хочу спросить я,
Сынишку взяли в СВИАХИМ?
Пошто Полкаша, друг сердечный,
Колхозной лошадью убит?
Пошто племянник мой любимый
Теперь под деревом лежит?

Покосилась крыша, лужи у дверей.
Спят в амбаре мыши, под окном пырей,
Нету мочи боле на печи сидеть,
Там, в лесу на воле ждет меня медведь!

I can't identify with your specific experience, but as someone who has hit bottom with alcohol related issues and ended up with nothing left materially and emotionally, and hearing from countless other people's experiences with chronic malaise, it's pretty much how Bluecast put it. Finding out areas in my life where I'm feeding that first wolf, so to speak, the resentments, fears, and anger,the need to satisfy the ego, and having a real dialogue with myself and others about these things, begins to make them start to fade. I can't say everything gets euphoric and amazing, but shit gets better for sure, and the world starts to open up again. I hope you find your place in the world, it's waiting for you somewhere.

To me, god is a concept we've come up with inevitably due to those feelings we all have mutually gotten from the start of our species when we do certain things (that we learn from the knowledge we have gained from the current environment around us, using all of our senses) that when repeated will leave us with nothing but a pathway towards the a very distressing death, or a very pleasant one (maybe even an afterlife hehe!). God seems like that part of our biology that sends us into seemingly unending madness when we're not (or at a conscious level being convinced we are not, which seems to edit our biology) functioning as a benefit to the species.

Oh yeah and religion (or law) exploits this aspect of our nature to create order in large masses of people. It always gets better with science!

I want to continue this post but it'll get to weird, i like where it's at now.