by Anonymous81 » Mon Jan 23, 2017 12:17 pm
I don't believe anyone is wholly good or bad. (A characterization that also has a lot of subjectivity to it imho, as different cultures, peoples, ideologies, and philosophies all view character and morality a bit differently.) Every good person I've ever met has done things they regret to others. And every "bad" person I've ever heard of - all the way up to someone like, say, Hitler, as demonstrably evil and horrendous as their actions were - still had people they cared about in their lives. So there is always a spark of good in everyone, no matter how small.
I know that's an incredibly idealistic and rosy perspective, but it's what I believe. If Anne Frank could go through what she did, and still, despite staring down arguably among the greatest darkness to date in human history, say, "I still truly believe people are good at heart," then who am I to argue with the likes of her?
That said, I believe it is very laudable to want to improve oneself and to expand the good one does to and for others. So my advice would simply be, do what you're already doing to make amends, and be conscious in every moment rather than reacting to situations without consideration of the impact of your reaction. Be mindful and think carefully, empathize, and consider before speaking or acting. As others have said, ask yourself, "If I was this person, how would I want to be treated? And how do I treat them that way, while still communicating my point of view?"
You'll never be perfect... none of us are. But by doing that, you'll be doing the most anyone can ask of a human being, flawed as we all are.
And for the record, I don't believe you are a bad person. If you were, you wouldn't be talking about this. It's not that black or white.