by Kenny » Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:26 pm
About two months ago, I entered bOUNTY in a contest and asked for coverage on it. Two months later, I finally got it in my inbox.
Unlike that other guy, this person GOT it. The advise was more in line with the vision I was trying to uphold and made more sense as a result. A funny thing I noticed though is he also thought my character Abigail was underdeveloped, but advised her to be more "vulnerable" which was EXACTLY the kind of thing I was trying to do with her. Not make her a "damsel in distress", vulnerable beneath her tough exterior.
But the reason I found it funny was cause three people think she's underdeveloped and three think she's fine the way she is, which makes it real conflicting. I think the character is fine but she does need a bit more spice cause her counterpart Conrad is more interesting. She needs to be able to stand on her own cause I want her to star in some episodes.
My style of writing seems a bit controversial too but I realize I don't explain the environment as well as I should. I have the whole visual look implanted in my head...but when I re-read it recently I found out I never really describe the environment the way I see it. Plus they're alot of sentence fragments which can get really annoying to read and disrupts flow. They also want me to get rid of the exclamation marks...not gonna do it. They're there for a reason and its to show how crazy and fast moving it'll be, removing them will make the thing boring. Same with getting rid if the narrative style, not gonna do it to make it more "industry friendly". Fuck that shit. This market is highly competitive and I want to stand out, plus that's just the way I write. It's my style.
Overall this is good stuff to take in for the next rewrite, which will improve the script dramatically.
Kenny has received 3 thanks from: Axm, Henry Spencer, OL