by Wude-Tang Clan » Tue Jul 21, 2015 11:31 am
People around the world eagerly wait for the clock to strike 12:00 AM to get their physical and digital copies of Shenmue 3. The president holds an impromptu summit with all word leaders with the help of holographic Abe Lincoln to determine how to contain Shenmue 3 pandemonium from causing world wide hysteria and stampedes.
Everyone at the summit surely feels the tremendous gravity of the situation, and is moved to tears.
Suddenly, Kim Jong-un appears on the main-monitor, crying and apologizing profusely for then pain and suffering he has caused. He states that only now, after the release of Shenmue 3, has he seen the folly of his ways and the suffering of his people.
The room erupts with applause and cheers, and every world leader unanimously agrees that this day be made officially as, 'world-wide Shenmue day'. It's a new festive holiday where everyone is encouraged to wear leather bomber jackets, blue jeans and white sneakers while drinking Fanta soda as a sign of world peace and solidarity.
The new rules of the holiday are written on a scroll with an ink quill and signed by every world leader. It's put over a candle to give it those brown hues that make it look like a older document that it actually is, then, it's rolled up and shot through a pneumatic tube, where it is sent directly to replace the constitution at the Smithsonian in Washington D.C.
Meanwhile, broadcasts are interrupted all over the globe, informing all citizens to go home and be with their families to enjoy the new holiday: Shenmue day.
Gabe Newell announces Half-Life 3, and in the same breath states that Gordon Freeman will be replaced by Ryo Hazuki.
Reviews are pouring in as 10's all across the board, it's hailed as a master stroke of pure genius by all media; small and large; local news to national 24 hour networks are wall-to-wall Shenmue coverage around the clock. Bill O'reilly renames the O'reilly factor to the Hazuki factor for Shenmue day.
Old critics and haters have taken to self-flagellation with HDMI cables. The Pope offers the papacy to Suzuki-san at the Vatican, but he graciously declines as he addresses the throngs of people who wait for his words.
He states, only, "Thank you for making Shenmue 3 possible. Now, we can make Shenmue 4, next. Thank you all." The crowds watching from around the world in stadiums and pubs, in public squares and homes are raucous and jubilant.
Suzuki-san hops into his red F355 Ferrari, but it has no wheels at all. Somehow finding the time while developing Shenmue 3, his genius has created the worlds first fully modified hover-Ferrari. He winks, puts on his sunglasses, and turns the stereo to the song, splash wave. Then turns the key and the car gradually takes flight and soars into the sky.
Subsequently, Elon Musk purchases the hover-Ferrari technology from Suzuki-san for his Tesla factories. Suzuki-san uses this massive windfall to purchase SEGA, using an unlimited budget for all future Shenmue games.
Wude-Tang Clan has received 2 thanks from: NeoShredder, Switch